Umendo Chapter 42

Umendo Chapter 42

I had a better night's sleep that night. I didn't care much about sex, l was just happy to be in my husband's arms. Even though he hadn't said anything, just that small act of affection meant a lot to me. It gave me a little bit of hope. I woke up early to make a full English breakfast for him, l wanted to remind him of the little things that mattered and I also show him that we could still do 'us' even with a visitor around. We had breakfast together before we both left for work. The mood seemed a bit lighter and he gave me a kiss goodbye. We gave Faith Siya's key since he usually gets home after me. 

I invited Siya to join me for lunch that afternoon and he agreed. Things were still awkward because l didn't want to say anything to upset him, so because of that, l had to carefully choose what l say and how l say it. Nevertheless, it was a good lunch. When I got home I found Faith watching TV still in her pyjamas, the sink was full of dirty dishes that she had used from morning and she had mis-placed things in the kitchen. One of my pet peeves is people who put things where they didn't find them, I hate having to hunt for things when l could easily get them if they are kept in their usual place. If you found it in the top right cupboard, return it in the top right cupboard. Not in the fridge, not it the left drawer, not under the sink, but in the top right cupboard. It just makes life a little bit easier and saves a whole lot of time and unnecessary arguments and headache. 

Sme: Faith! 

Faith: Evie....

Sme: No, don't Evie me, I don't know if you had a maid over at your place, but here you clean up after yourself

Faith: Oh,l meant to do that. Yikuthi bengisabheke iRhythm City

Sme: Iqale nini ukudlala the whole day iRhythm City? You had time to cook and eat but you had no time to clean up after yourself? Hayi no, you are going to have to pull your weight around here

Faith: Ok ok, keep your wig on! Jeez, it's only dishes for goodness sake. One would think I killed someone or something....Tjoo!

Sme: Don't make me regret inviting you in Faith,  go wash up please. I need to cook! 

Faith: Ok, ima kancane iRhythm City iyaphela in 15 minutes

Sme: Heeh! (Shaking my head) 

I didn't have time to wait, so l went and washed up and cleared the mess Faith had made and started cooking.  I was already regretting agreeing to let her stay with us. When Rhythm City leyo finished playing, she came to the kitchen and said "Hawu, ingani bengishilo nje ngathi l will wash up after Rhythm City?". I just looked at her and said nothing, I didn't want to say something l would later regret. She went back to the living room to watch something else. I later discovered that she put up a status on FB and Whatsapp saying "Yekel'ukuba serious. Phola sisi". Maybe l had overreacted a bit, but who wants to come home from work to find the kitchen in a state ngomuntu who spent the whole day at home doing absolutely nothing besides watching TV? A grown ass woman for that matter! Hayi no man! I'm sure if Siya had come home before l did and found the place like that, he wouldn't have been happy either. After we finished eating, Siya helped me clear up, I washed the dishes whilst he dried sizixoxela nje when Faith joined us. She asked me what the house rules were so that "something like today never happened again" as she put it. Siya looked at me to ask what had happened, l told him it was not a big deal, he shouldn't worry himself about that. I told Faith to clean up after herself and remember that she was sharing the house with other people. I knew that that was her way of apologising. Siya and l went to bed quite early that night as we wanted to wake up early to go car hunting. I asked Faith if she wanted to join us but she declined and said she had people to see. 

That night as we were spooning, Siya pulled me closer to him and said "thank you for everything baby, I am one the luckiest guys alive". I turned around and kissed him and fell asleep with a smile. That Saturday morning, Siya asked me to join him in the shower. I was a big reluctant, I knew that 'Mr Muscle' as we called him, would get excited. I feared that if he went flaccid again before doing the did, things would go back to where they were. I felt that we were making some progress and didn't want things to go south again. In the end I thought, "oh well, we will have to try again at some point, so might as well". I joined him, and less than a minute in the shower, Mr Muscle showed himself up. I was a bit nervous, so was he. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me like he had never kissed me before, I got all excited and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled my legs apart, licking me all over... Then there was a knock. Ah, l had forgotten about Faith there for a second. She desperately needed the toilet. Eish, talk about timing. Siya had already finished anyway, so he quickly put something on and left. She didn't even apologise, mnxx.  We spent the whole day car hunting, even though we didn't get what we wanted, it was a good day in general. Siya cracked a few jokes, and we didn't run out of things to talk about. We got some take away because we were both knackered. Faith wasn't home when we arrived. She arrived just as we finished eating with two bottles of wine and a pizza. She told me that she had gone out on a date. She offered us some wine but we both declined 

Faith: Hawu bantu, it's just wine. One glass won't kill you

Sme: No, we are fine Fefe

Faith: Siya uyakhulunyelwa? Don't you have your own mouth? Uyakshaya yini uEvie?Loosen up people!

Siya: Hahah, hayi..,ok, just one glass then

That one glass turned to two, two to three till they had finnished the whole two bottle. Here I was declining to have a glass in support of Siya, but he goes and drinks a whole bottle of wine. I was pissed off shem. 

I went to bed and Siya followed me, he was tipsy and all over me as soon as he closed our bedroom door. He said "shall we pick up where we left off", even though I was pissed off I didn't declined. He touched me at all the right places, so did l, he got on top of me and I helped him guide Mr Muscle in. Things were looking and feeling good, just when we were really getting into it, Faith knocked and let herself in at the same time before we could say anything! 

Umendo Chapter 41

Umendo Chapter 41

When I woke up the next morning, Siya was sleeping in the spare bedroom. He joined me in the kitchen when l was making breakfast. I asked him why he slept in the spare bedroom and he told me that he got into the house late, so he didn't want to disturb me in my sleep. "Njenganini Siya?", l asked him. He just kept quiet and went to take a shower. I shook my head in disappointment and anguish. It broke my heart to see him like that, what made it even worse was that l couldn't help him. I wanted to, but he just kept shutting me out. That made me gloomy, Langa and Mike had noticed, I guess l couldn't hide my sadness. I met up with Zandie for lunch, I needed someone to talk to, maybe l was approaching this whole thing from a wrong angle. I needed someone else's perspective. Zandie looked glowing

Sme: Heheh, is there a little bun in the oven or have you met someone?

Zandie: Hahahah, why mfazi?

Sme: You are glowing, like the time you were pregnant

Zandie: Hahah, hayi suka! 

Sme: Have you met someone? 

Zandie: Kinda...

Sme: I knew it! Well, at least one of us is happy. Tell me all about him

Zandie: One of us? Is there trouble in paradise? Is that why you look depressed? 

Sme: I wouldn't say depressed, but yes, there is trouble in paradise

Zandie: What has he done this time? Hayi Siyabonga nkosi yam! 

Sme: (I explained everything to her)

Zandie: Tjoo, that's a tough one mfazi. Try to convince him to go to the men's clinic

Sme: I mentioned it and he said he said he would go, but l doubt that he will

Zandie: Qina ngomthandazo mfazi

Sme: I know l should, but l am ashamed to say that my faith is weak lately. It's not that l have lost my faith, it's just that when it comes to praying, I just don't know what to say anymore. Maybe l feel like l have said everything there is to say....hayi, l don't know anymore mfazi. It's really stressing me out

Zandie: Shame mfazi, I don't know what to say. But l will keep you in my prayers. Don't worry too much, kuzolunga. 

Sme: (deep sigh) Anyway, enough about me, tell me about this new guy responsible for this lovely glow

Zandie: Ermm..

(My phone rang, it was my cousin Faith)

Sme: Fefe

Faith: Evie (Evelyn is my middle name, Faith is one of the few people who used it)

Sme: How are you my long lost khazi

Faith: Not good l'm afraid

Sme: Kutheni?

Faith: I broke up with Didi (Faith's on and off boyfriend) and l don't have a place to stay. 

Sme: Ohhh

Faith: Can l come and crush with you until next month please. I'm stranded

Sme: Let me speak to Siya first then get back to you

Faith: Ok, l don't mean to rush you but it's sort of urgent as l don't have a place to sleep khona namhlanje

Sme: Ok, let me call him

(Zandie worked out what was going on from our conversation)

Zandie: Mfazi, l don't mean to pry but don't you think it's a bad time to have a relative staying with you when you guys are going through a rough patch?

Sme: I know it's not ideal, but ngeke ngimyeke elala estradeni mina ngikhona. And maybe an extra person will get us talking again cos we hardly ever talk anymore. You know with other couples that are going through a rough patch, you hear them saying bahlanginiswa ngabantwana, that's the only conversation they ever have. Manje thina we don't have them, so there is very little  that forces us to converse. 

Zandie: I hear you mfazi, but watch out, your cousin is very wild. She might add more trouble to your troubles.

Sme: Let's hope she won't, and anyway she said she will be moving at the beginning of next month, so she will only be with us for two weeks

Zandie: Ok

I called Siya to let him know about Faith's request, and he just said "ok". Usually Siya would make a joke if a relative was coming to visit, be it a relative from his side or mine. He would say something like "if they overstay, we will chase them away by having loud rampant sex", or "we can tell them that we have a holiday booked for the whole week, that way they would be forced to go". But none of these would work on Faith because first of all we were not having any sex, even if we did, Faith would tell us to keep it down next time and if we said we had a holiday to go to, she would definitely tell us to enjoy and extend it if we wanted to, we will find her waiting. It's something l just thought to myself, I missed my husband, I wished he would say something funny like he always did in these situations, but he just coldly said "ok". You know things are very wrong if you miss someone who lives under the same roof as you. 

I found Faith waiting for me by the door when l arrived home after work. She had a small suitcase, a tshangan bag and two overnight bags. Forever blunt, Faith told Siya that he looked like someone who had emerged from a hole and that he needed to shave and eat something when he arrived home. Siya laughed an awkward laugh and went to warm up his food. That was the first time I had heard him laugh in a long time. When he came to the living room where Faith and l were, Faith got up from where she was sitting and went to the single recliner, so Siya had no choice but to sit next to me. Faith talked about anything and everything engaging both me and Siya in her conversations. It was good to hear him speak even though it wasn't about our problems, nje ukuthi he was making conversation was good. Hopefully he would eventually talk about what was going on. He went to bed shortly after eating, I went to join him. He held me in his arms as we spooned for the first time after the weeks and weeks of sleeping alone and apart. I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe having Faith over was going to be a blessing in disguise! 

Umendo Chapter 40

Umendo Chapter 40

At work I called Siya a few times to check up on him, l wanted to reassure him that l was going to stand by him through it all like l had promised when we got married. He sounded down, I really wished l could take away some of his worries so he wouldn't have to carry so much by himself. I thought about asking him to visit the men's clinic, but then decided to wait a while. I mean it had only happened once, well several times in one day, so maybe things would go back to normal when we tried again. And l didn't want him to feel like l was putting more pressure on him after just one fail, so unless he brought it up, l was going to keep my suggestion on hold for a while longer. Then there was the issue of my mother in law, I told Siya when l called him and he asked me not to give her my aunt's number, he was going to talk to her. So l left it there, I understood how sensitive this was for him, so l thought it was best that he handled it his way. 

That afternoon at work l received a single rose with a note saying "I can't get you out of my mind", it was the same writing as the one on that last note that came with flowers from an anonymous admirer. Usathane yisilingo ngempela, l chucked it into the bin and went back to work. Mike and Langa gave me those inquisitive eyes but I didn't indulge them. At home after we had our dinner, l gave Siya a massage hoping it would relax him and hopefully reduce his stress. In bed that night he made the first move, I responded, but it was yet another flop. Siya got out of bed after the failure to launch and went to watch TV at midnight. I followed him but he told me to go back to bed he was going to join me soon. I didn't push it by trying to talk to him or being all mushy, I kissed him and went to bed. I couldn't sleep though, I tossed and turned thinking of what ifs. Around 2am l went to check up on Siya and he had fallen asleep on the sofa, I put a blanket on him and switched off the TV. For the first ever ngalala ngedwa kodwa uSiya ekhona. Whenever he pissed me off, l would tell him to sleep in the spare bedroom but he would refuse and come sleep with me, so l would leave and go sleep in there myself but he always followed me until l gave up. So that night felt a bit weird, what if life as l knew it was going to change forever because of this? That was a scary thought for me. 

Over the next couple of weeks things didn't get any better, Siya was sleeping on the sofa watching TV most of the time. Damn that TV, whenever l called him to come to bed, he would say he is coming, but not come at all or come around 4 or 5 in the morning. If he did go to bed with me, he would sleep right on the edge of the bed ngani angaze awe embhedeni, you could fit a bus in between him and l. If l tried to get closer to him khona wayengavele awele phansi. The conversations had gone stale, it was as if we didn't know each other anymore. We usually argued whenever our favourite programmes clashed, but Siya let me watch even when there was soccer on. Even on the sofa, he would sit on the single recliner to avoid cosying up next to me as we always did. It felt like we were an old married couple, maybe layo old married couple ize ibengcono cos they have a few things to talk about. Me and Siya on the other hand, hayi shem. It was time to confront the elephant in the room, and boy was it a huge elephant! 

We were watching Khumbul 'eKhaya when that advert about the men's clinic came on. After it finished playing, l muted the TV

Sme: Siya, maybe you need to visit the men's clinic. 

Siya: (zwi yena, no eye contact)

Sme: We cannot ignore this forever baby, I don't mean to put pressure on you or anything, but I think you should go and get help

Siya: Ok

Sme: Does that mean you will go?

Siya: Yes

Sme: Ok, do you want me to go with you?

Siya: No

Sme: Ok, let me know if you change your mind

Siya: Ok

Sme: Did you call umama?

Siya: Mayelana ngani?

Sme: Angithi you said you were going to talk to her when she called to ask for my aunt's number?

Siya: Did she call you again?

Sme: No, l was just wondering

Siya: Then there is no need just yet

Sme: Siya, don't shut me out, I'm just trying to help here. 

Siya: I'm sure you are relieved aren't you?

Sme: Relieved about what?

Siya: That it's not you ongazaliyo. That must have felt good when we found out that I'm the one shooting blanks 

Sme: Hawu Siyabonga

Siya: Ngamanga yini?Were you not relieved (now he had turned to look at me)

Sme: Siya....

Siya: Exactly, you cannot tell me you weren't cos that would be a lie. 

Sme: No Siya, l wasn't because it still affects us both.

Siya: But now it means you can leave me and be with someone who can give you children. Ngubani ongafuna ukuhlalela indoda engazaliyo, vele akula zabudoda if ungazali. It's my punishment l guess

Sme: Siya, leaving you hasn't even crossed my mind

Siya: Manga!

Sme: And punishment for what?

Siya: For cheating. That moment of weakness brought nothing but trouble in our lives. And because of that, l killed my own father! 

Sme: Hawu Siya, where is all this coming from?

Siya: Just admit it, you all think it but won't say it out loud. My father had a stroke because he was stressed about me, first of all because l cheated and supposedly impregnanted that girl, then that same girl's mother nearly got me killed. Had l not cheated, my father would have never had a stroke, therefore he would still be alive today (zahlengezela inyembezi) 

Sme: (I knelt in front of him and held his hands which were shaking) Baby, don't think like that. Ubab'uNkomo ubesekhulile, no one blames you for his death. And as for this, it's not like you have a child or two already and then usuzama futhi but kwehlula. No one is punishing you. The doctor said you have a low sperm count, therefore our chances of conceiveng are low, he didn't say it was entirely impossible. We can't lose hope without trying. 

 He got up, went to his car and locked himself inside: he was still crying. I knocked on the car window but he wouldn't open. Eventually l left him there and went to bed, ngalala umqamelo umanzi. I felt helpless, I couldn't help my husband whom l could tell was in a lot of pain inside. I really wished he could share his burdens with me, let me in and let me help him, but he was pushing me further and further away from him. What does one do in a situation like this? 

Umendo Chapter 39

Umendo Chapter 39

Most people confuse a low sperm count with a small amount if semen, so did Siya. He asked the doctor if that meant he was not producing enough sperms when ejaculating. He explained to him that he produces enough semen, but the amount of sperms in the semen was low. For example, an average sample of semen contains up to 200 million sperms, Siya's contained less than 40 million sperms. Of those 40 million, 30 million were slow swimmers, leaving him with about 10 million healthy ones. So instead of 200 million sperms swimming towards the ovaries to the eggs, he had 10 million , and that is a very low number in fertility terms. He told him to start taking vitamin supplements, eat more healthy foods, reduce his alcohol intake and exercise regularly. He also advised that we cut down on sex and do it no more than twice a week in order to increase the sperm count when ejaculating. I reckoned that part wasn't going to be easy, but l was determined, and l hoped Siya was on the same page as l. 

We bought the vitamin supplements after the appointment, and l bought loads of fish, fruits and vegetables. I wanted us to talk openly about what this meant and what we were going to do together to increase our chances of conceiving, but Siya seemed detached. He didn't want to talk about it at all, whenever l brought it up, he would say one thing then move on to something else. I ended up leaving it alone and told him that we could conquer anything, so long we worked together as a team. Three days later l received a call from Nicole, l had a lot going on that l had forgotten about her. She called to let me know that she had found a job at a hotel and she was going to start training in a couple of days. She sounded excited and l was genuinely happy for her. She told me that she was going to be paid R3 800/ month, so she had made some calculations and figured she would be able to pay me back all my money in 6months time if everything went well. The following day, l decided to do a romantic dinner for me and Siya. I left work early to start preparing before Siya arrived home. He arrived when l was placing the candles on the dining table. He gave me a kiss, then lit the candles whilst l dished our dinner. We had smoked salmon and baked parmesan potatoes. For desert we had cheesecake with a fresh cream and chocolate sauce. "This is why l married you", my husband said as we finished eating. I laughed and said "l thought you married me for my looks", to which he replied "that too and a hundred more other things". 

We had not had any 'coitus' since we got Siya's results back, we were 'banking the sperm' as that doctor had put it. It was hard to sleep next to each other everyday and starve ourselves of coitus, but it was all for the best. But tonight was the night and l had been looking forward to it. Around 10pm, l left Siya watching TV and went to put on some sexy lingerie that l had bought two days earlier in preparation for this night. We have an alarm clock radio on our bedside cabinet which supports USB, so l connected my phone to the radio and made a quick nice and slow playlist. I played the first song Sexual Healing by Marving Gaye and called my husband to come join me. Hehhh, the look on his face, he couldn't stop smiling as he stripped down to his underwear and enjoyed watching me give him a lap dance. Needless to say, that all got him worked up, seeing him excited got me excited as well. He got up with his manhood poking and kissed me with so much passion, my arms carresed his bare back. He turned me sound and unhooked the bra part of the sexy night dress and planted small kisses on my back going up to my neck. He then turned me to face him and pulled my nightie down slowly whilst planting small soft kisses on my shoulders, neck, boobs and back to my mouth. I was ready for him, l couldn't wait any longer, l was hungry to feel him inside me, so l pulled his undies down and pulled him towards we both fell on the bed. He got on top of me, l opened my legs as wide as they could go and said "let's make a baby". Bad mistake because my husband suddenly went soft on me. He tried to enter me whilst soft, but it was an epic fail! He looked surprised and disappointed just like me but l tried not to show my disappointment. I pulled him in my arms and told him not to worry about it. He kept apologising saying that he didn't know why that had happened. Around 1am he woke me up probing me with his hard on, usually l'm reluctant when Siya wakes me up for a second round in the middle of the night, l just prefer the morning glory, but that night I was happy he woke me up. We both got all worked up, he got inside me, thrust two three times and went soft. This time he asked me to give him a hand job, l did, he got hard, three to four thrust and went flaccid yet again. He wanted to try gain but l told him to not worry about and that we were going to try in the morning. I could tell he was very worried because he tossed and turned the rest of the night. I reckoned he was thinking way too much into it, and the pressure of impregnanting me was way too much for him. Now not being able to perform in bed and satisfy me in bed definitely bruised his ego as a man and he took it hard. We tried again in the morning to no avail, he would get worked up, then just go soft either before he entered me or after a few thrusts. I kissed him and told him that everything was going to be alright as we both left for work. 

At work that morning, l received a call from my mother in law asking for my aunt's number so that they could arrange a meeting to discuss Siya's options were since l couldn't bare him a child!

Umendo Chapter 38

Umendo Chapter 38

We didn't know if Lumkile had something to do with the missing dockets, even if we she did, there was nothing we could have done about it. It was frustrating, especially for my husband because he would have to come face to face with these people soon enough since they hang around in the same places. I feared that he might lose his temper when he came face to face with them and this time they could kill him knowing that they can get away with it. So much for justice! Over the next few weeks, Siya was looking much better, he was called in for two more fertility test after the initial one. I could tell that he was worried, l think what worried him the most was that he thought if he couldn't give me children, l would leave him. 

One afternoon at work l received a message from my bank that my account had been deposited with R35 000. It was from Lumkile, but this time she didn't send any message.  That evening l got a call from Nicole crying

Sme: Kutheni Nicole? 

Nicole: My mum gave Junior away

Sme: Huh? She did what?

Nicole: She called me two days ago asking me if l really wanted to make amends. I told her that l wanted that more than anything, she said she was coming to visit so we could talk. She came to my place this morning, she was so nice to me and she said that she was taking me home with her. She then sent me to the shops to buy bin bags to put my stuff in, l left her with Junior. When l got back she was gone with my baby, l called her and she told me not to worry as she was on her way back. She said that she had gone to sort out 'our' problem. She came back without Junior, when l asked her where he was, she told me that she left him at Door Of Hope. ( Door of Hope is an opharnage in Berea, there is a big metal box on the wall that looks like a huge bread bin. So people dump their unwanted babies there without having to reveal their identity) 

Sme: Oh nkosi yami, why didn't you go to ask for your baby back?

Nicole: I did, but they told me that they will call social workers to deal with this whole issue. They will have to come to assess where l live to see if it's fit for a baby, and obviously l will fail ngoba ngihlala ekhethenini, l'm a single teenage mother, l don't have a job, l don't have any adult helping me take care of my baby. My mum won't let me tell them l live with her because she doesn't want me to get my baby back, in fact she said if they ask her if she thinks l am a fit mother she will tell them that l'm a party animal and l see Junior as something that's getting in my way of having fun which is why l dumped him at The Door Of Hope. Which is all lies because l haven't been out every since l got pregnant, l love my baby, l wouldn't dream of spending a day without him, let alone give him away. But who is going to believe a single teenage mother over an adult who is an officer of law and a 'respected' member of the community? 

Sme: Eish, manje what are you going to do?

Nicole: l don't know, l'm going crazy right now. I know it's too much to ask, but could you please help me with a place to stay until l get my baby back. 

Sme: I wish l could help Nicole, but you cannot move in with us. Things will be too awkward, and l don't think my husband would agree anyway

Nicole: No, l didn't mean moving in with you. I only receive R300 grant per month for Junior and it doesn't even cover my current R500 rent. I sold my phone and bought a cheaper one to pay this month's rent. If l could get a bachelor flat for a month or two whilst they are assessing my situation, l know it will increase my chances of getting Junior back. Then l can find a cheaper place afterwards. I have no one else to turn to

Sme: So you want me to deposit a bachelor flat for you, then pay your rent until you get your son back? 

Nicole: l will look for a job and pay you back every penny, l will start searching from tomorrow. Hopefully l will get it ASAP and work full time then reduce to part time after l get my baby back

Sme: Eyi Nicole, that's a bit much. Let me talk to my husband about it

Nicole: Thank you, and please let me know if you hear of a place they are looking for people, angikhethi. I will do anything, l just want my baby back....Could you please borrow me some money for marketing. 

Sme: I'll keep an ear out for you. l will let you know where to meet me after work. 

Later that afternoon, l met Nicole in Sandton mall, she had lost so much weight. Her clothes were baggy, amehlo ewele phakathi, her hands were ashy l had to buy her some Vaseline before she left. She was devasted about losing Junior, she cried when she told me that she was being punished for what she did to me. I gave her R400, she went to print out her CV and l headed home. I knew Siya wouldn't agree to all this but l had to tell him anyway. I felt sorry for Nicole, even though she had terrorised me, l knew she loved her son and would have done anything for him. But l told myself that if my husband refused ukuthi simncede, l wouldn't feel too guilty because at least he had a roof over his head and wasn't going to sleep hungry. Even though it wasn't an ideal circumstance, it was much better than living under a bridge. Siya was already home when l arrived, he seemed anxious and nervous. He told me that he had a received a call that the results of his semen were ready. He had made an appointment for the next afternoon, l volunteered to join him for the results. I didn't bring up the Nicole issue because he was tense, it would have to wait for a less stressful day. 

The following day Siya came to pick me up at work just before lunch time, his hands were sweating even though it was cold. We didn't say much on our way there, just small talk. I wished l could tell him not to worry, that everything was going to be just fine, but was it? Waiting outside to be called seemed to take forever, when we were finally called in, l held Siya hand and we walked in. The doctor was so blunt and didn't beat about the bush, he said "Right, the results show that you have low sperm count and most of your sperms are slow swimmers. What this means is that your chances of conceiving are less than 15%"

Umendo Chapter 37

Umendo Chapter 37

 

Siya explained to me how Mapetla had called him enquiring about driving lessons. He told him that he wanted them for his niece, so a few days later he introduced Nicole as the niece who wanted lessons. So the guy had actually picked out Siya for Nicole to pin the pregnancy on. Pity the baby is an exact replica of him. 

Sme: So how does that make you feel?

Siya: Stupid, how could l have been so stupid?

Sme: No, l am talking about the baby not being yours?

Siya: Relieved, that girl brought nothing but trouble in our lives

Sme: No, you brought her into our lives, nobody forced you to have an affair with her

Siya: It wasn't an affair bantu. Anyway, l'm glad this whole thing is over and done with. 

Sme: Now you have to go and get checked Siya. You cannot dodge it forever. We need to know if there is a problem ukuze sikwazi how to deal with it

Siya: Vele kusho khona ukuba the problem lies with me. You have been to check ups and they said everything is ok, now Nicole's baby is not mine. It's pretty clear now

Sme: We will never know until you get checked

Siya: So what will happen ? When the results say that l cannot have children, what will happen to us? 

Sme: l don't know. (I had never really thought that far,l guess l always assumed that there would be something we could do)

Siya: l am tired, l'm going to lie down for a few hours (The look on his face, it was as if his balls had been cut off) 

I prepared dinner and sat down to catch up with my recorded programmes. I received a message from Nicole that her mum agreed that she could come back home, but only if she gives her baby away. She said that she didn't want to give her baby away, but she also wanted to have a good relationship with her mother. Eish nkosi yami, ngazithela shem. I told her that if she gave up her baby, she would regret it for the rest of her life and that this was her chance to do something right after all the mistakes and poor choices she had made. I woke up Siya for dinner, we had a long talk after l finished clearing up. Eventually he agreed to get a check up, then we would take everything from there. I updated him on everything that happened whilst he was in hospital, and he listened to his father's message. For the first time since hearing about ubab'uNkomo's passing, he cried. I held him in silence until he stopped crying. We retired to bed around midnight, it was nice to sleep next to my husband again. Siya holds me in his arms everytime we sleep, but that night, l held him until we both fell asleep. 

I woke up early and made Siya breakfast in bed, it was a bit chilly, so he was happy to stay in bed all morning. After breakfast l joined him in bed and Siya started getting touchy feely. I wanted us to wait until he was physically stronger, l was scared he might have a heart attack or something during the act. I told him about my worries, but he tried to assure me, I still wasn't convinced. Problem with Siya is he can be quite persuasive, like l mentioned earlier on, he would follow me everywhere like a hungry baby until l gave in. So most of the times l don't even bother denying him because l know he will annoy me till l get tired and give in. I eventually agreed on the basis that l was going to be on top, that way l would control the pace and he wouldn't have to do much work. It was beautiful, l grinded on his manhood nice and softly with my eyes closed, it felt like magic. I briefly opened my eyes to look at Siya and he had his eyes closed and was smiling with his mouth open, l guess he was feeling it too. We both climaxed and l fell onto his chest with his now soft manhood still inside me. I tried to get off him as l remembered his wounds, but he pulled he right back and wrapped his arms around me. And to think Lumkile wanted rip all this away from me! Mnxxx

We spent most of the day cosied up in bed, we only got up to shower together in the late afternoon. Siya helped me make dinner, l wanted him to sit down and relax. I think l feared that he would feel dizzy and fall again from all the standing, but he was keen on getting back to his normal routine. We spent the rest of the day snuggled on the sofa watching TV. That Sunday l attended Siya's church, l know l sound paranoid, but l just wanted to make sure he was fine. Nothing had changed at Siya's church, well there were even more people now, but 80% of the service was still "turn to the person next to you and say....". I told Siya to put his turns on hold until his wound on the neck healed. With that much turning he was guaranteed a couple more days in hospital. 

I went back to work the following day, Siya wanted to but l told him that he need to relax for at least another week before going back to work to give his body time to recover. He didn't like hearing that, he said he was going to stay home five days tops, and he was only doing it for me, if it was up to him, he would have gone back that same Monday. Siya booked an appointment at the men's clinic for that Wednesday. Thursday was supposed to be the start of the trial of the guys who stabbed Siya, but I received a call from our lawyer saying that the dockets had gone 'missing', so the trial was cancelled and those guys were going to be released! 

Umendo Chapter 35

Umendo Chapter 35

 

My cousin helped me pack as she had promised. We met up with Zandie later in the afternoon to go visit Siya. I hadn't told my cousin that Zandie was in the dark about me helping Nicole, so she mentioned in passing how Nicole had been brought down to earth and how she had been forced to turn to me for help. I tried to wink at my cousin, ngazama ukumqhweba, but she just pushed my hand away and continued rambling on

Zandie: Huh? Ini? (Zandie looked at me confused)

Noe: She called uMeme again yesterday when her baby wouldn't stop crying

Zandie: Again?? Am l missing something? Is this the same Nicole who tried to destroy your life? (Mina zwi)

Noe: Yena kanye! > Yep, none other than her!

Zandie: Meme? Why? Why ?

Sme: Mfazi, l couldn't let her sleep under a bridge with a week old baby. What if the baby died? I would have never forgiven myself knowing that she came to me for help and l pushed her away. 

Zandie: (Clap once and shakes her head) And l take it you didn't tell me any of this cos you knew l wouldn't go along with this bullshit? 

Sme: I'm sorry mfazi l didn't tell you, but l just couldn't 

Zandie: l know my friend. Your kindness is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I hope it doesn't come back to bite you. 

Siya was sitting on a chair and reading a newspaper when we arrived. He looked stronger than he actually was. I think he was trying to look like he was better so he could leave the hospital. My cousin started to talk about about Nicole, eish, that one also. Me and Zandie pinched her so hard this time she got the message and quickly changed the topic. Siya asked if she had given birth, l told him that she had given birth to a baby boy. I didn't want to tell him about Junior not being his just yet, he had a lot on his plate already. He didn't need more bad news just yet. I had already asked Buhle to speak to MaMoyo and ask her to not mention anything to Siya about the baby. She agreed and later told me it was sorted. Siya said that he was going to get a paternity test when he got back from the funeral. Having to lie to my husband like that killed me, l was sweating and couldn't keep eye contact. I felt like he could see that l was lying, so l quickly changed the topic. I now understood why sometimes people close to you would lie to protect you. 

We flew out on Wednesday morning, l held Siya and would let got of him because l was scared he might fall. He looked much better, but l didn't want to take the chance. Whenever he fell asleep, l checked him regularly to make sure he was still breathing. We went over to my parents' first, I knew that if we went straight to Siya's, l wouldn't be able to leave until the funeral was over. I didn't want people to say "umakoti ubalekela umsebenzi". My parents were very happy to see us as always, my mother prayed for Siya's health, for his father to rest in peace and for Siya's family and our marriage. I borrowed their car and went with my younger twin sister Tasha. My parents and my other twin sister Nelisa were going to join us on Thursday . Ubab'uNkomo was going to be buried in Gwanda, his home where he grew up, so they were going to drive with us there. When we arrived there were so many cars parked outside, we had to ask one of the neighbours to park in their house. There were so many people, ubab'uNkomo was clearly loved and respected by many. We spent a good hour meeting and greeting, half of the people there either knew my parents, or they had grown up with one of my relatives, and apparently l was related to most people there. You know how our elders always find a family connection down the line through surnames. Tasha went straight to Bongiwe as soon as we arrived. Most people told me to stay strong for Siya because he needed me now more than ever. I dreaded going to greet uMaMoyo, she was sat inside the living room with her two sisters and one of her aunts (ubab'uNkomo's younger sister uMaxesha). She was wrapped in blankets and looked defeated. I knelt and greeted them one by one. UMaxesha gave me a hand shake ekhangele eceleni as if l had a bad breath or something, then asked where Siya was. I guess she too felt the same way as uMaMoyo. Yena uMaMoyo she barely touched my hand when stretched it out to greet her. Maxesha who got the name because after she spent 2 weeks in Capetown, she would stand up in church and say "ndithanda ukthatha ixesha leli" everytime, I'm sure she still does even today. Anyhow, Maxesha had always been nice to me, she used to say that l was going to keep the Nkomo name alive, therefore keep her memory alive. So l'm sure after MaMoyo told her that l was barren, l shattered her dreams. 

Salala silindele with ubab'uNkomo biding goodbye for the last time in his home. It was a wonderful service. People sang, drank and danced in celebration of his life and the memories he had left us, some just drank because it was free alcohol. You know there is always those people who will attend anything as long as they serve free alcohol. It was the same here. I kept checking on Siya, or sending someone to check up on him if I was busy with something. I cooked, cleaned, washed up, served and helped with sleeping arrangements for those who couldn't stay up all night. By morning l was knackered and just wanted to have a bath and sleep. I decided to quickly dash to my house, the one my parents helped me buy in Cowdraypark which is just next to eMakhandeni and take a bath. I went with Bongiwe and Tasha. We were back in less than an hour. When we arrived some people told me that Siya had been looking for me, l found him speaking to one of the uncles. The way he looked at me, it was as if he was looking at something disgusting, something he couldn't stand being around. When he finished speaking to his uncle he came over to me and said "How could you refuse to give my mother imali to help out with the funeral? And ukuxosha umama endlini Meme? How could you be so cruel?"