Umendo Chapter 19

Umendo Chapter 19

The next few weeks went by so quick because I was swamped with work. We were working on a big project so I had my hands full, I had to take some work home most of the time. Siya was working more hours to pay back his father. I didn't mind him being away more than usual because I couldn't stand being around him. He was trying the best he could to make up for for his mistakes but I was still bitter. I think mostly because his mother condoned his behaviour and I felt insulted by her words. Nicole called one day when I had just arrived from work asking for money to go for a scan and to buy the baby's preparation. I asked her how much she wanted and she said she wanted R10 000. I laughed so hard she hung up on me. I called her back and told her not to mistake my kindness for stupidity, she told me that babies were expensive, she said that she needed to buy the baby's crib, pram, Moses basket and the baby's clothes and blankets. She said that the R10 000 wasn't even going to cover it, so she was trying to be considerate. I told her that she should have thought of that before she opened her legs for a married man. And that I was going to discuss it with my husband then get back to her, l made it very clear to her that she wasn't going to get the R10 000 she was demanding. The silly girl had the nerve to tell me that she was always going to be a part of our lives whether I liked it or not, as if I didn't already know that. 

When my husband came home that night I told him about the conversation I had with Nicole. He was shocked, or pretend to be shocked I don't know. He asked me how much I thought we should give her. I snapped and told him that because he couldn't keep it in his pants we were losing money, money we could have put towards our house. We had bought a stand back home and were saving up to start building the following year. Discussing anything to do with Nicole just made my blood boil. I had told myself a number of times that I was going to try to stay calm and open to suggestions, but I just couldn't. I walked away and Siya followed me. 

Siya: I'm sorry sthandwa sami, I didn't mean to upset you. 

Sme: Oh but you have, haven't you. You have managed more than just upsetting me 

Siya: we don't have to talk about this right now if you don't feel like it

Sme: But we still have to at some point, and for your own information, I will NEVER feel like talking about anything to do with Nicole. 

(He stood there, looking defeated. )

Sme: How much are you willing to give her for the baby's preparation?

Siya: Is R3 000 ok?

Sme: R3 000 is your magic number neh? We shall give her R4 000, you will have to find a way to come up with R3 000 and still pay for indleko zakho like you always do. I don't know where you will find it, whether you work longer hours or you rob a bank. You will find a way, just like you found your way into Nicole's pants. I will top it up with R1 000 from our savings. 

Siya: Ok love, ngizoyenza njalo. Thank you for doing this. I will never do anything to intentionally hurt you or what we have. I have truly learnt my lesson. I will never lie to you again, not just for you, but for myself as well. Because once you lie, you have to make up more lies to support the original lie, I hated myself for lying to you everytime I opened my mouth to cover up for my lies. 

(I rolled my eyes so hard l had a sneak pic into my brain)

He came over to give me a hug, but I just walked away from him. I wanted to scream at him, how could he? I felt betrayed, angry and hurt. What made me even more angrier was how much I allowed this whole thing to consume me, I found myself thinking about it all the time, I just couldn't help it.  I made a bank transfer of the R4 000 to Nicole after a week. She called to tell me that she had seen it, she didn't even say thank you. I told her that that's all the money she will be getting from us until she gives birth. She sounded surprised and asked me what she was meant to do with R4 000? I told her to burn it, wipe her ass or whatever she felt like doing with it, but that's all she would be getting. She scoffed then told me that she will send me the pictures of the scan to show Siya their wonderful creation and that we should start saving up for her baby shower. Heeeh, was this girl smoking nyaope or something? 

I got a message telling me that our results were ready, my heart skipped a bit. I had been pushing away the thought of the possibility that my husband may have put me at risk, but now I couldn't avoid it. I called Siya and told him to clear his schedule for the following afternoon to go to the clinic. That afternoon waiting to be called in, I could tell that he was as nervous as l was. That made me more nervous, did he know something I didn't. When they called my name, I jumped because I was so lost in thought. My heart was beating out of my chest, Siya held my hand as we sat opposite the doctor. She first counselled us about HIV and told us that it was a standard procedure whether a person had tested negative or positive to be counselled before receiving the results. I just wanted her to give us the results because the suspense was killing me and l already knew everything she was telling us. Finally she said, "now, shall we move on to the results?". I answered "YES", it came out louder than I wanted it to. She then picked up the paper from her desk and said "You both tested positive for ........" 

When I heard the word positive, my mind blanked out everything else. I could hear that she was still speaking, but I couldn't make out what she was saying. My head kept replaying the word "POSITIVE........ POSITIVE.....POSITIVE !!!!" Siya tightened his grip on my hand, I wanted to push his hand away from mine but I couldn't master up the strength. My palms were sweating, my temperature went sky high, my eyes welled up with tears, l looked down because I didn't want the nurse to see the tears in my eyes. I wanted to my tears to go back or dry up before I could look at her and listen to everything else she was saying. At that moment right there, I hated my husband. I knew I would never forgive him for this even if I wanted to.