Umendo Chapter 21

Umendo Chapter 21

Ngavela ngaphelelwa yibuthongo. I didn't know how culture worked if your husband has a child outside, but I knew a few cases where indoda ilobole umntwana otherwise he is refused the right to see his child or children. I knew that my husband would want to be a in his child's life, it was the right thing and I wasn't against him being a part of his or her life. Umntwana kalasono. It angered me that Nicole and her mother were demanding money left and right as if we were made of money. I got up to leave the bedroom but Siya pulled me from behind. "I'm sorry baby, please don't leave me", he pleaded with me. "Let go of me mani Siya", l shouted at him. He got up, his hands on my waist, pulled me even closer to him, l could feel his hard on. Ah, l didn't know what was making him go hard but I wasn't interested in finding out. I tried to pull myself out of his strong arms, but he wouldn't let go of me. He planted a wet kiss on my neck, "hayi mani Siya, l'm not in the mood for this", another one on the other side of my neck. Then he licked behind my ear, l let out a soft moan. "No Si....,"  he hit my spot. He moved his hands up to my boobs which were tender and very sensitive (they get like that when l'm about to have my period). I tilted my head backwards so I was looking up the ceiling. His lips met mine, I had forgotten just how soft and tender they are. We hadn't had any sex ever since I caught him with Nicole. He pulled my night dress up, I helped him by lifting my hands up. He turned me around to face him and pushed me against the wall. I helped him take off his vest, he pulled down his shorts. His cock was pointing right at me, I smiled slightly thinking "long time old friend". He moved closer to me, I moved my face to kiss him, he moved his face away, placed his hands around my waist and looked at me with lustful eyes. He teased my lips slightly brushing his with mine. Then he kissed me hungrily, pushed my panties down and pulled my legs apart. He sucked on my nipples, moved his right hand down to my vajay-jay. I was wet and ready to have him inside me. He inserted one finger whilst his thumb played with my clitoris, then he inserted another finger, curved them like a hook so he could hit my g-spot. I was searching for his lips, wanting to kiss him so bad, I cupped his face with both my hands, we looked into each other's eyes as if were were searching for something hidden behind them. My knees became weak, so I pushed him towards the bed. He lay in bed and closed his eyes. I went on top of him, kissed his neck, moved down to his chest with both our hands clasped together and spread out the bed. I went down to his belly button, then I moved my hands to his balls. Softly massaging them with one hand, I held his hard on with my other hand moving it up and down his shaft. He pushed my hips towards his cock, I moved forward then lowered myself down his shaft. I gasped because I had taken in too much, so I moved myself up a bit and positioned myself properly. Then I moved up and down, each time taking more of him inside me than before until I took him all in. I started gyrating slowly but firmly, then I went hard increasing the pace gradually. My blood started rushing to my head, l started to moan louder and louder, Siya pushed me off him and got on top of me. I held his cock with my right hand directing it towards my vajay-jay, but he pushed my hand away. He went down on me and licked my clit for a few seconds, then he gently inserted his member inside me, he kissed and licked me on my neck and nibbled on my ears. He went in deeper and deeper with every thrust. I moved my hips up and down meeting him halfway. He held my face, kissed me with so much passion and said "tell me you still love me Meme...please tell me you still love me my baby". I held him tighter and in between kisses I said "Ofcourse I still love you baby". He went harder and harder, l felt like my body was being elevated and "uuuuuuuuuuuu....", we moaned in unison and I had the most earth-shattering orgasm! 

Siya held me in his arms and said "thank you baby". He kissed me, then pulled me even closer to him. We lay there naked and quiet, but in our silence, we said a lot. Right there and then I felt connected to him and I'm sure he felt the same, we shared something deeper. I believe there is having sex, then there is making love. That night we made love. I cannot fully explain the connection that one feels when they do it with someone they truly love, I hope you too will some day if you haven't already. I know you are thinking, how could l still love him after everything he had done to me. I asked myself the same question as well, but didn't find the answer. Maybe it was because l could see he was making an effort to show me how sorry he was, maybe it was because I had so much history with him or it could be that I just couldn't switch my feelings off just like that. I still loved my husband, I hated what he did, but I still loved and cared for him dearly. I turned around and kissed him softly on his lips (that was my way of saying thank you for giving it to me that good), l could feel him smiling. Don't ask me how when I was facing the other side, but l just felt it. The following morning, l was awakened by Siya's hard on probing me. I turned around to looked at him, he gave me that eye that said it all. I knew that he expected me to refuse, but I didn't which surprised him. So I had some morning glory before I left for work.  I was all smiles at work that day. Mike and Langa said that they were going to ask my husband to keep doing whatever he did to me that morning. He brought me flowers when he came over to take me out fo lunch that afternoon. While we waited for our meal, Siya took my hands, looked me in the eye and said "ngiyabonga sthandwa sami". Sitting there I realised that his collar bone was sticking out, I hadn't realised just how much weight he had lost. His cheekbones stuck out of the rest of his face. With everything that had happened I hardly looked at my husband, yes we still lived under the same roof, but not necessarily together. I avoided him most of the time, only spoke to him when it was ubsolutely necessary and gave him one word answers whenever he tried to make a conversation with me. With my hands till in his, I looked at him and smiled, sometimes the best way to say something is by your expression, he smiled back at me for he knew what my smile meant. He knew that my smile meant that l still loved him and appreciated his efforts but it didn't mean that he was off the hook just yet. He kissed me on both hands, then we had our lunch. 

When I got back from my lunch, I found another bunch of flowers on my desk. I smiled and wondered when my husband had sent them, I looked at the note and it wasn't Siya's writing. The note said. "You take my breath away everytime I see you." It was signed "From Someone Who Adores Everything About You". I asked Langa if she knew whom them were from and she told me that she was hoping I would tell her. I told her that maybe they had delivered them to me by mistake, but Langa said she signed for them and the delivery guy said they were for Meme Nkomo. I told Langa to chuck them out, it didn't feel right keeping them. Langa asked if she could chuck them to her desk, so l gave them to her and left it at that. 

Siya's birthday was coming up in a few weeks and I didn't know what to do for him. He always made such an effort for mine, so l had to return the favour. I called Zandie to ask her for ideas, she suggested that I booked us a weekend away in Capetown. 

Sme: It would have been a great idea before all this drama happened. But now kuzoba sengathi l am rewarding him for his mistakes?

Zandie: l know what Siya did is unforgivable, but you chose to forgive him. Yes he begged and grovelled for your forgiveness, but you made the choice to forgive him. Ngokumxolela it means that you wanted to give your marriage another chance, therefore you cannot punish him forever mfazi. What happened happened, sokwadlula, ungavumeli isfebe sikudilizela umshado.Yes you have every right to be mad at him, but at some point you have to open yourself up to heal, otherwise you will never get past this and uzogcina usumenyanya. 

Sme: That's how I was beginning to feel lately.

Zandie: Exactly, and if usumenyanya you will push him further and further away from you. You won't even notice the effort he is making to work things out with you. In the end , you will find solace in another man. Before you know it, you will be cheating on him uziduduza ngokuthi nguye owaqalayo. 

Sme: Ah mfazi, that's a bit extreme

Zandie: Serious mfazi, qhubeka ungamxoleli, you will come back and ask me how l knew. Either you will push him into another woman's arms, or both of you will end up cheating on each other. All those guys who keep perusing you ungabanaki, eventually you will start to warm up to them. Trust me, these things happen. 

Sme: I hear you mfazi. I will make an effort to works things with him.

Zandie: I know it's hard mfazi, kunjalo vele. If you feel like you can never forgive him, then leave him and start the healing process, because you cannot truly love him if you don't forgive him. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to forget what he did, vele you can never forget into enjalo, forgiveness means that you are willing to look past his mistakes and move on with life.

Sme: Ngiyabonga mfazi. Honestly I don't know what you would do without you.

Zandie: No worries mfazi, that's what friends are for. 

I booked us a weekend in Clifton- Capetown and booked our flights for that weekend. I thought I would surprise him with an early birthday present. Things changed from that day, the mood lifted up a bit and Siya was doing everything he could to keep the momentum. I could tell that he was nervous and scared of things going back to where they had been before. I told him about his early birthday present and he was pleasantly surprised. We left for CT on a Friday after work. Things were beginning to fall into place. What could possibly go wrong?